Playing with a Stacked Deck
by estetson47
Summary: Superman erased her memory, but Lois never forgot. How is she going to handle a Clark Kent who doesn’t know she remembers? Complete.
1. The Decision

**Title: Playing with a Stacked Deck**

**Summary:** When Superman re-enters her life, Lois is forced to choose between the only two men she's ever loved. Complicating her decision, however, is that despite Superman's attempts to make her forget, she remembers who Clark Kent really is. While, for Jason's sake, she is able to make peace with Superman, she finds herself unable to contain her hurt and anger while he's masquerading as Clark. Who is she going to choose? Post SR. References to SII and Smallville.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. This is just for fun.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Decision**

Lois stood out on her back porch, feeling the warm summer breeze blow through her hair. Richard's seaplane bobbed slightly to the rhythm of the waves. She closed her eyes. Her life had become insanely more complicated since Superman returned only two weeks ago. She had long ago convinced herself that she would never see him again. The fury of those days had consumed her, and she poured every ounce of it into her Pulitzer Prize-winning article, "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman." Even thinking about it now the anger threatened to well up inside her, but she pushed it aside. On a certain level, she understood his reason for leaving. He wanted to see Krypton, his real home, and discover if there was anyone else left alive like him in the universe.

It didn't make her feel any better. Because when it came right down to it, he had abandoned her. Not even a word, goodbye. What was so hard about saying goodbye? Thinking about it now she's not sure what she would have said to him. Would she have let him go? Or maybe asked to come along? The logistics didn't matter, only the option to make a choice, and he had stripped her of the right to do so.

Now her life was a mess. In the early weeks following his disappearance, she adamantly refused to believe that he had left her. Then weeks morphed into months, and she knew in her heart that he had left for good. So riddled with anger, she didn't notice the changes in her body. How she often felt weak and tired, how her energy level would short circuit by mid afternoon. That's when she realized that she had a bigger problem. She was pregnant.

Now her anger was replaced with a gamut of fears. Would the child survive? Or would the pregnancy kill her? Would her doctor discover an anomaly and put two and two together? Would the whole world see through her? No one knew the extent of her relationship with Superman, and in that ignorance they made a lot of assumptions. Correct assumptions. Such as, did she sleep with him? Would the world believe that she was carrying his child? What would they do to her child, or herself for that matter, if they did? She was overwhelmed with the new responsibility, to protect his secret that had now become hers, and it terrified her. Yes, for the first time in her life, Lois Lane was petrified.

She knew she couldn't let anyone discover the truth. Like Superman, she now needed a disguise of her own. One that no one, not even those closest to her, would be able to see through. When she met Richard, she never had any intention of dating him. But then one evening he asked her to dinner. His dedication and devotion instantly enamored her, and she was amazed how much he was like the man she loved.

At first she only appreciated his company. He was someone to talk to, get her mind off her loneliness and anger. He made her laugh when the pain in her heart and body manifested themselves into cruel words. Her diatribes were responded to with kindness and patience. She couldn't deny that his mannerisms, behavior, even his appearance, reminded her so much of what she had lost, and made her feel just a miniscule less lonely. When she realized that he was falling for her, she knew she couldn't deceive him, or allow him get close without knowing the truth. So on their third date, risking him turning away, she confessed to him that she was three months pregnant.

Of course she didn't tell him who the father was. She concocted a story about how she had been deeply in love with a man who had one day up and left her, without saying why or if he'd be back. And that the man never knew that he was going to be a father. Her story, she reasoned, was devoid of all lies but one, a lie of omission.

Then Richard saved her from asking the impossible. Would he be willing to raise her child as his own? Through the months of her pregnancy he was there for her in every fashion, never asking for more than she was ready to give. His words comforted her even in moments when her body writhed in agony. She wondered how this man could see goodness in a heart shattered in so many pieces. And when Jason was born he was there by her side, ready to love the both of them. Everyone just assumed that Richard was the father, and soon her lie wasn't a lie anymore. Richard was her son's father in every way that mattered.

It was a few months after Jason was born that they first made love. His body brought back passionate memories, and his touch was achingly familiar. But at the same time, she felt a sense of serenity. She understood him, through and through. She realized, afterwards, as she lay with him, that for all the time she spent with Superman, for all the memories of love and wanting, she didn't really know him. But she could know Richard. And she could learn to love him. Only one deep, powerful secret stood between them, and she vowed at that moment it would stay hidden forever.

But forever came sooner than she had ever predicted. She knew she had to tell Richard the truth, the whole truth. Her son, Jason, was over at his Uncle Perry's and wouldn't return for another hour. She needed to keep her confession from him, at least for the immediate future.

Richard's car pulled in the driveway, and she listened quietly to the sound of gravel crunching beneath the tires. She went inside the house and sat down at the kitchen table, pulled a cigarette from her purse and lit it. Her fingers trembled slightly as she pulled it away from her mouth, waiting for the nicotine to calm her nerves long enough to get through the next twenty minutes.

She heard the car door slam and the sound of footsteps along the driveway and up the wooden stairs. _Thud. Thud. Thud._ Each step ignited like a firecracker in her mind, an omen to heed, asking her not to destroy the perfect life she had spent the last five years constructing. The front door opened and Richard froze in the doorway, shocked at the sight before him. Lois exhaled a puff of smoke, calming her shaking hands. She composed herself, summoning the inner strength that had made her such a dynamite reporter. Richard moved quickly and knelt beside her, placing his right hand on her cheek. Tears formed in her eyes, but she willed none of them to fall.

Richard put his other hand on her shoulder and asked her what was wrong.

It was a few moments before Lois could speak, but somehow her lips managed to form the words. "Richard, there's something I need to tell you."

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Lois' Confession

**Chapter 2: Lois' Confession**

Lois looked Richard straight in the eyes. She wanted to be strong in this moment that would likely change her future forever.

He looked at her expectantly. Lois had longed to tell him the truth, but now that the moment had arrived, she wasn't sure how to continue.

"The other day. After Superman came back. You had asked me if I had ever been in love with him. I said no. That wasn't entirely true."

A sad smile crept up on his face and Lois felt a pang of guilt. "I know that, Lois. You've been, well different, since he came back. More closed off, like you were when we first met." Then he continued, the trepidation evident in his eyes, "You answered one of the questions I asked you that night. What about the other?" He was, of course, referring to her infamous article title,_ I Spent the Night with Superman._

"I did spend the night with him. Not that night but others. A lot of nights. We, uh, were lovers," she blurted out, astonished that she'd managed to push the words out of her mouth. "When I first met him, he saved my life. I was on a helicopter that..." Richard nodded, knowing the story. "That was the first time he revealed himself. I was mesmerized. The whole world was.

"Then, later that evening, he came to my apartment. I was the first one to speak to him, interview him. He seemed so idealistic. He wanted to help us, and didn't expect anything in return. He was beautiful and perfect. I was completely infatuated." Lois placed her half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray, the tip of which broke off.

"From that day forward, my whole life changed. Nearly every week, Perry would ask me to write about him. Everyone seemed to think I had the inside story. And perhaps I did. I was the only one who could get him to talk.

"As time went on, I could sense this dynamic between us. He was such a strong person, but there was a vulnerability about him that intrigued me. Then one night we made love." Lois' voice broke a little, as she closed her eyes and remembered the past. "We were together for almost a year. And then one day, he just vanished.

"At first I thought something must have happened to him. But I think a part of me knew better. That he had left without letting me know if he would ever return. Richard, there's something I've been keeping from you. I kept it a secret not because I didn't trust you, but because it was safer for you, for all of us, if you didn't know." She braced herself before she continued. "It's about Jason."

"He's Superman's son, isn't he." Richard said, finishing her thought. For some reason it didn't surprise him. Both of them sat in silence, the weight of the revelation hanging between them. "Does Jason know?"

"I haven't told him," Lois said. "But he knows he's different. When we were trapped on Lex Luthor's boat, he, uh, threw a grand piano at a man trying to hurt me."

Richard's jaw dropped, and Lois could hold in the tears no longer. He cupped her cheeks with his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "Lois, it's going to be all right. I understand why you didn't say anything, I really do. I've always loved Jason as if he was my own son, and this changes nothing. You and he are my family. I love you both very much."

"I love you too, Richard."

"But do you love me as much as you love him? I saw the way you looked at him on the plane, Lois." His pained expression betrayed what he believed her answer to be.

"Those feelings are in the past. Things changed."

"Have they? I mean, for you and him?"

"He's been gone for five years. We can't just pick up where we left off. I'm not sure I'm the same person anymore. Hell, I'm not sure I want to."

"He's Jason's father, Lois."

"You're his father!" She yelled, more loudly than she intended. "You are in every way that matters."

While he was grateful for her words, he couldn't help feeling like they wasn't completely true. He stood up and grabbed his keys and wallet off the kitchen counter.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Lois asked incredulously.

Pausing, he let her question fly. "I can't help but wonder if he is the reason that you haven't wanted to set a wedding date. That a part of you has been waiting, hoping that he might come back."

"Richard…"

"I want to marry you, Lois. I want us to be a family. But I don't think you know what you want. And so I am left with a dilemma I know of only one way to solve." He grabbed his suit jacket that he had draped over a chair and slipped it on. "You need time to think. And you can't do that while I'm around. I'll be over at Perry's tonight. And I think under the circumstances that Jason should sleep there too."

Lois nodded gently, not knowing what to say.

He left the house, his mind and heart racing. So it was true after all. He had always suspected they had an intimate relationship but a son? Not only did he have to stand toe to toe with the man of steel to vie for the woman he loved, but also they had a son between them. How could he ever compete with that? He tried to decide how he felt about the whole situation. Anger at Lois for lying to him? No, that wasn't quite it. He understood why. But the fear brewing inside him was all too real. He wondered if just held her in his arms for the last time.

Then there was the matter of Jason. He could lose him, never mind what Lois had said about him being Jason's father in every way that mattered. His real father was Superman, a man that could crush him like a bug in half a dozen different ways. A man that could watch him without him ever knowing, and lie in wait for him to screw up. He would be expected to carry his secret to his grave. He felt the weight of his enormous responsibility, but it was a challenge he was willing to face.

Back in the house, Lois dumped the ashtray in the garbage, another one of her token efforts to quit smoking. She'd thrown away a lot of ashtrays in the last couple of years, but she still couldn't break the habit. As she was standing by the kitchen sink, she heard a _swoosh_ and saw a familiar flash of red and blue through the window. She walked out the back door to face Superman.

"Good evening, Lois." He was standing a few feet from the water's edge, his hair and cape blowing gently in the breeze.

"Jason isn't here. He's spending the night with his uncle." His face fell a little. "He'll be back tomorrow. I'm sure he'll be excited to see you. He doesn't stop talking about you." She tried to be strong, but her voice betrayed her sadness.

"Lois, what's wrong?"

"I told Richard. About you, and me, and Jason." Superman nodded. Although it was not unexpected, even necessary, he couldn't shake the feeling of resentment that he felt toward the man.

"He's a good man. I didn't want to hurt him. But I did. And now he's gone."

"He left?"

"Yes, for now anyway. It depends on me if he comes back."

"Do you want him to come back?" His question was two-pronged. On the one hand, he would be perfectly happy if Richard simply vanished from their lives. But he also knew that he was good for Lois and their son. He could give them a stable life. And Lois and Jason obviously cared for him deeply. He couldn't deny the love Richard had for the pair, especially after he risked his life to save them. With that Superman was truly impressed.

Lois shut her eyes and answered, slightly hurt, "I don't know. I don't know what I want! You disappear for five years, never telling me if you'd ever be back. I find an amazing man who's given me everything that I've ever wanted. The problem is I wanted those things from you, not him! But I can never have you, can I?"

"Lois…"

"I know what the right decision is, but it's not the one I want to make. But this isn't just about me anymore. I have to think about Jason." _And Richard, she added silently_. _He doesn't deserve second best._ But she suspected that's how he felt.

Lois watched him, perplexed. "Can you humor a whim of mine?"

"Yes?"

"Kiss me?"

"What?" The look on his face was priceless.

She pushed her fingertips into the neckline of his suit and pulled his mouth toward hers. Their kiss was deep, probing. He responded eagerly to her touch, and she was flattered that she could provoke such a reaction in him. The passion that had been there five years ago, if there was ever a doubt, was still afire inside them. Their kiss grew deeper, and Lois was searching, for what? His hands glided from her face to her neck and shoulders. How she had dreamed of this moment for the last five years.

But reality didn't match the dream. As they kissed, she recollected on the pain and heartache she had suffered at his hands. It was too easy to fall back into familiar patterns, she needed more than he was willing to give. She broke off the kiss.

She felt it beneath her to ask her next question, hoping that he would say something first, but she felt compelled to do so. "Is there, uh, anything that you want to say to me?"

He furrowed his brow and replied, "I don't understand."

"You don't understand." She repeated his words, but didn't believe them. She had hoped that he might apologize for brainwashing her before he left. But as she stood there staring at him, it suddenly dawned on her. _He didn't know she remembered!_ She thought it odd that even as Clark he kept his distance. Before he disappeared, they had been at most friends and at the least partners before she discovered who he really was. It took every ounce of self-control not to lash out at him.

Superman noticed her change in demeanor, but couldn't place its cause. Somehow, he had hurt her all over again.

"Let me ask you something," Lois began, reeling in her emotions. "If Richard wasn't here, do you think it could work out between us?"

He turned his back on her and replied in a soft, low voice. "I don't know. The truth, Lois, is that we can't be together, not like you and Richard."

"And why not?"

"I can't give you that kind of life. But I do want to be a part of it. Yours and Jason's."

She smiled weakly and shut her eyes, stripping the disappointment from her face. For all the hours that she imagined this conversation in her head, this was the one answer she didn't anticipate. She didn't know whether to laugh out loud or cry.

He looked over at her with his beautiful blue eyes, the sadness in them matching her own. "I guess this is it, then." She spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, Lois. I never meant to hurt you."

"I think you should go." He nodded sadly, and she watched him fly away. Her heart swelled with all the emotions that had been stirred during the evening. She went to bed, only to stare at the hands of the clock, ticking away. She was painfully aware of the empty, cold space beside her where Richard usually slept.

Just before dawn she got dressed, and walked outside to watch the sunrise out across the water. She loved Richard, but her heart belonged to Superman. But what did that mean anyway? She was angry with Superman for practically writing her off last night. He wasn't even willing to fight for her. Oh she knew that he'd never pursue her while she was with Richard, but why in the hell couldn't he at least admit that he loved her? _Maybe he didn't_. She'd had that thought pass through her head intermittently in the years that he'd been gone. But some part of her, even now, refused to believe it.

She put in a call to the Daily Planet, leaving a message with Perry White. She was taking the rest of the week off. She left no explanation.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. The Third Wheel

**Chapter 3: The Third Wheel**

_One week later_

At the Daily Planet, Clark was riding a crowded elevator up to the newsroom. He'd been missing Lois since she took an uncharacteristic vacation last week. Since his return, they hadn't the opportunity to talk, and he could really use her company right now.

As he stepped out of the elevator, Clark was nearly trampled by the crowd passing before him. _Another typical day at the office, he thought_. But it wasn't. His co-workers were cheering, he dodged a cork shot from a champagne bottle as it whizzed past his head. Jimmy noticed him and waved a half-hearted hello.

"Ch-champagne, at 7 o'clock in the morning?" Clark asked.

"Uh, yeah. Well, you know, it's just one of those days I guess." Jimmy said nervously.

A man Clark vaguely recognized slapped him on the back and shoved a plastic wine glass into his hand. "It's a special occasion, Kent, the impossible has happened. Lois and Richard set a wedding date."

If Clark's jaw could drop to the floor, it would have at that moment. Jimmy bit his lip and avoided his gaze. He looked over at Perry's office where Richard and Lois were standing, their arms wrapped around each other, laughing. He knew that he had no right to be jealous. Even though he, as Superman, had essentially said goodbye to her the other night, letting go would be harder than he thought.

Five years ago, it was late into their relationship when Lois discovered the truth about Clark Kent. He always felt guilty about omitting that part of himself from her, but it was for the best. If Lois knew, he reasoned, and someone found out that she knew, what would happen to her? He already knew the answer to that question. That's why he couldn't ever let it happen again.

But, he had to admit, those few days they spent together, with the barriers completely down, were the most thrilling in his life. He felt complete, with the burden of his omission, he was careful not to use the word lie, no longer hanging between them. For the first time he felt as though there was a human being, other than his mother, in whom he could love and confide.

As Clark Kent in Metropolis, he never intended to pursue her. Just being near her each day was enough, to share her company, enjoy her conversation and take part in her laughter. Sometimes, he knew, his façade cracked and his feelings bled through. But everyone who saw it, even Lois, took it as a simple crush. He was uncertain if she could love the real him. In reality, Lois saw only the extremes, Superman the all-confident superhero, and Clark the bumbling, self-conscious reporter. He was both of those men, yet neither of them.

Clark's stare caught Lois' eye and she motioned for him to come on over to them. He looked at her, gesturing with his thumb towards himself, just to be sure. He moved slowly through the crowd to meet with her when Richard pulled him aside and wrapped his arm around him in a big hug.

"I'm so happy, man!" Richard cried. "This woman wants to marry me!" Clark tried not to suffocate in his giddy enthusiasm and, most importantly, not actually look like he felt.

"Con-congratulations." Clark muttered. He looked at Lois, who met his gaze briefly before turning away. He was rather hurt that Lois would display this grandiosity right in front of him when she knew that he had a crush on her. The old Lois Lane wouldn't have done that. It was just one more thing that had changed since his return.

"Okay guys, back to work! We have a newspaper to write," Perry White bellowed to his employees. As people moved back to their desks, he called Lois and Clark into his office.

"Guys, I've got a story for you. There's a huge scandal going on down at the jewelry store on Highland Street. A merchant purchased almost a million dollars worth of counterfeit gems. I want you to get down there and find out what's going on." Lois began to protest, but Perry silenced her.

"Clark, can you wait outside for a moment?" He left the room, immediately directing his super hearing to listen in on the conversation. It's funny how, since his return, listening in to conversations seemed to be the only way to understand anything going on around him.

"Lois," Perry said, "what's the problem?"

"I can handle this one on my own."

"Is it Clark? You two used to make a great team."

"That was five years ago!"

"Lois, Clark may sometimes act like he's from another planet, but he's a damned good reporter and he knows how to get a story. I thought you wrote some of your best articles with him. Your styles compliment each other nicely." Perry said.

"Did _he_ suggest we work together?" Her words were laced with contempt.

"Look, this is a big story and you're going to need the extra legwork. I'm sure you can find a way to work with him again."

"Perry, he's been out of it for five years. You can't just hand him the big stories, he has to earn them!"

"And he hasn't? Have you forgotten that he's saved your ass on a number of occasions? And as I recall, once twice in the same day? Look, Lois, whatever it is, get over it! Now get the hell out of my sight!"

Lois stormed out the door. Despite all the commotion of the last two weeks, she knew Clark had been eager for her attention. Before he left, they had enjoyed a friendly, often competitive comradeship. She had seen beneath his outdated clothes and gawky behavior the heart of a gentle man. She enjoyed teasing him, offering him advice about women and personal style. But that was a long time ago. Before she knew who he really was.

"I g-guess it'll be just like old times, Lois. You and me, working together." Clark said.

"Yeah," she responded, distracted with her thoughts.

* * *

Some time later, down at the jewelry store, the owner was showing Lois and Clark the counterfeit gems.

"Well, they look real to me," Lois remarked. The owner, Mr. Reynolds, had displayed some of the gems for them to view. "Who sold them to you?"

"Hollings, Co., out of Gotham City. They're looking into where this particular batch came from. We estimate that we've sold at least $200,000 worth of these rocks to consumers already. My phone has been ringing all morning. You know I sell to the richest in the city, and they are angrier than all get out. If I can't get my money back on this shipment I could lose my business."

Clark stared down at the counterfeit rubies, taking note of their vibrant hue. Why was he suddenly feeling dizzy? He stepped outside for some fresh air.

"That's very interesting. Hey Clark," Lois turned around. _He's gone again_. She found him outside.

"What the hell are you doing? We've got a job to do." It was then that she noted his clammy skin and watery eyes. "Are you all right?" her voice full of genuine concern.

"I'm fine," he responded, unconvinced. Just at that moment, he caught a glimpse of a young woman, dressed in a floral print dress, getting into a taxicab. _She looked awfully familiar_.

Lois looked back inside the jewelry store, pondering a thought. Then, in a softer tone, "Look, why don't we take a break and get some lunch."

* * *

At Leo's, a small Italian eatery, Lois and Clark were seated at a table in the far corner of the room. Clark was feeling much better. He tried not to think about why or even what happened earlier, now that he had the full attention of the woman he loved. "Lois, I am so excited that we now have a chance to catch up. We've been so busy these last couple of weeks we haven't had a chance to…"

"Richard!" Lois warmly greeted as he walked up behind Clark. "I hope you don't mind Clark joining us, Perry has us out on assignment together."

"No problem! How are you doing, Clark?" They shook hands.

Clark sighed, this was getting ridiculous. Was she avoiding him? The couple quickly fell into discussion about their wedding. Caterer, flowers, food; it all made Clark's head swell. But finally, halfway through the meal, Richard had the decency to remember he was there and asked him about his trip.

As Clark spoke, his eyes lit up, but, he sadly noted, it was Richard asking the questions. Meanwhile, Lois sat listening to him weave a tale about Kenya and Italy, elephants and historical artifacts, and wondered how he managed to keep it all straight. Undoubtedly he had been to all those places, seen all those things, but she wasn't interested in any of it. She thought back to when he first came back to work, when Perry forced her to get the scoop on Superman's return and gave the blackout story to Clark. He said something about not wanting the incident to affect their relationship. _He was so prone to exaggeration_.

"So Clark," Lois interjected, "did you meet anyone special on your trip?"

Richard joined in, good-naturedly poking fun at him and saying, "Yeah, tell us all about her."

Clark stammered, unable to the find words that so often eluded him. "Well I, uh…"

Lois suddenly laughed, loudly. "Oh please, Richard. Look who we're talking about! A self-conscious man who can't say two words without tripping over himself. What could any woman possibly see in such a _thing_?" She excused herself from the table.

Now it was just the two men, alone. Clark's face bore a mixture of hurt and shock. It was Richard who broke the awkward silence as a slight color rose in his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Clark. She's been under a lot of stress lately."

Clark nodded, feeling irritated and grateful at the same time for being saved by this man he was trying so hard to hate. He sighed. He considered the idea of following her to see if she was all right, but something on Richard's face told him it would be a bad idea.

Richard made small talk for the remainder of the meal. All the while he spoke, images of him and Lois together flashed in Clark's mind. This was the man sharing his love's bed each night. He was the man raising his son as his own. As Superman he undoubtedly was the object of others misguided jealousy, but he wondered how he was going to handle it the other way around.

On the taxi ride back to the Daily Planet, Richard and Lois talked non-stop. Clark stared out the window. His mother, and his father before her, had told him that he would never be alone. But he felt alone. Worse than losing Lois Lane as a lover was losing her as a friend. He had damaged his relationship with her and wasn't even sure how.

As the taxi pulled in front of the Daily Planet, he made eye contact with a young woman standing on the steps. _No, it couldn't be!_ Looking straight at him was Lana Lang.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. The Plot Thickens

**Chapter 4: The Plot Thickens**

Clark opened the door and jumped out of the taxi before it came to a full stop. He ran up to Lana and smiled widely.

"Hi, Clark!" Lana said, embracing him in a warm hug. It had been nearly eight years since they last saw each other. Their departing words were bitterly exchanged, and neither had spoken to the other since. Now, as they stood in front of each other, Clark tried to remember why.

Out of the corner of his eye Clark caught Lois and Richard staring at him. He heard Richard say, in a low, amused voice, "I guess he did get the girl."

Lois' reaction was harder to gauge. He could only find one word to describe it, perplexed. She made a beeline for the door, not stopping to say hello. Richard followed her inside.

Turning to Lana, Clark said, "So, what brings you to Metropolis?"

"Work." Her smile made him temporarily forget his troubles. The beautiful woman standing before him commanded his full attention.

"Work?"

"I'm an astrophysicist."

"Wow, Lana. That's amazing!" Clark topped his statement off with a goofy grin.

"It sounds more exciting than it is. I'm based out of Gotham University. I want to do research, but I seem to spend most of my days teaching," she added, somewhat shyly.

"You look beautiful as ever," Clark remarked, his eyes moving about her face.

"Thanks. I have to say, you look a little different from the last time I saw you. What's up with the glasses? And the hair!" She tousled it with her hand.

"Oh yeah. A new look. Y-you like it?" _What the hell was he saying?_

Gazing at the woman standing in front of him, Clark was reminded of what he almost had. During his high school years he had been obsessed with Lana. In college, he pursued her and briefly won her hand. But the relationship ended a few months later without them saying, "I do." He once believed Lana to be the missing limb that would make him complete. He almost wished for those simpler days, when Superman didn't exist and he was only two-eyed Clark. He clutched his head as a wave of nausea struck him.

* * *

Back at the office, Lois Lane got to work. Based on the leads that she and Clark gained this morning, she made some phone calls, but each one led to a dead end.

In Perry's office, she gave him an update on the jewelry store scandal. "That's where we are at right now. Or I should say, that's where _I'm at_. The ever reliable Clark Kent? The one you insisted I partner up with? Nowhere to be found!"

"Lois…"

"And just for the record, Chief, if I have to carry this guy…"

"Lois!" This time she stopped. "Lois, are you all right?"

"What? Of course I'm _not_ all right. You stuck me with a bumbling idiot who…"

"Lois, what is this really about?"

"I'm not following you, Chief."

Perry shut the door and lowered the blinds. "Sit down." She did as she was asked.

"I was a reporter for twenty years, Lois, and a damned good one. I may not be privy to all the events in your life, but I'd have to be six feet under not to know something's not right."

Lois shifted in her seat uncomfortably, steeling herself for the next question.

"Are you sure this marriage is what you really want?"

"Oh come on! Is that what you think this is about? A man?" She'd be damned if she allowed her boss to think she was flustered because of some guy, even if it was, _or wasn't_, his nephew.

"Look at you! You're falling apart! Are you sure you know what you're doing? Look, I care about you, but I care about my nephew more. I don't want to see him get hurt."

"He's big enough to make his own choices," she lashed out.

"It's easy to make the wrong ones when you don't have all the facts."

_Oh the nerve of him!_ "You're right, you don't know what's going on in my life." She stormed out the door and slammed the folders in her hand on the desk, stealing a glance at Clark's empty seat.

* * *

Several hours later, Clark walked into the Daily Planet, his hand resting on Lana's shoulder as he guided her to his desk. Lois watched him pull out his chair for her. She groaned. The woman's long, straight brown hair glistened under the fluorescent lights, the waves framing her oval-shaped face. Lois subconsciously twisted strands of her own hair, feeling the roughness induced by too many dying sessions at the beauty salon. She slammed her fist on her desk and turned back to her work. She had to get a hold of her emotions because at this rate, her hands would be full of broken bones before the day's end.

"So, Lois." She jumped up slightly out of her chair, not seeing that Clark had come up behind her. "I was thinking, those rocks looked like some sort of mineral to me. If we can get an analysis of their composition, we might be able to determine their point of origin."

"I called the lab an hour ago. I'm just waiting for the results." Lois said testily.

"Oh, well then." He looked nervously around the room, searching for any words to break the tension.

Out of the blue she asked, "Who's the girl?"

Clark smiled shyly, looking over at his desk where she was sitting. "Lana Lang."

"Lana Lang? Is that all you're going to tell me? When did you meet her?" Her voice took on a flirting tone, her curiosity piqued.

"Oh Lois, it's not like that. Well, I mean it was once like that, but not anymore, I think. We grew up together."

_Oh_. Suddenly her irritation turned into something much more primal that lacked identification. "So she's from Iowa, then."

"Kansas, Lois. She's from Kansas."

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It was rude of me." _If not true_.

"It's okay Lois. We all have our bad days. I just feel like we're drifting apart you know? We had such a great relationship before…"

_Oh please! There he goes using that word again_. Cutting him off, she interjected, "I've got to get back to work. Let's talk later." She quickly picked up the phone and started dialing a number for a contact.

Clark walked back to his desk to say goodbye to Lana, who had errands to run. They agreed to meet for dinner later tonight. As he settled back in to work on his own leads, he felt a tug on his pant leg.

"Hello," the little boy said.

"Jason!" He smiled at the boy, feeling his façade crack ever so slightly. For all the deceptions that he was forced to procure with a dual identity, he never felt like a fraud until standing in front of his own son.

"Are you all right?" The boy asked.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You look strange."

Clark was perplexed by his comment. "Well, sometimes people aren't at their best. I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." The truth was, if he didn't know better, he was coming down with a fever.

Across the room Lois silently watched Clark interact with his son. Seeing them together drew tears to her eyes. As much as she wanted to hurt him, to repay the pain he'd inflicted upon her, she couldn't break them apart.

She didn't have to. Richard came barreling out of his office, swooped Jason up in his arms and bid Clark and the rest of his co-workers goodnight.

Clark watched them depart. He was having trouble concentrating on work. His mind drifted to his upcoming evening with Lana. Ever since he laid eyes on her this afternoon, he'd been brought back to an earlier time. She was his first love. In high school and through much of college, he firmly believed that they would get married and have a family. But that was before reality ruined it all.

Despite his devotion to her, he always felt that there was something missing. It took him a long time to figure out what it was. He didn't trust her. And not just with his secret. She knew he was hiding something, and his refusal to bring her into that circle of trust eventually formed a gulf between them that they could not cross. It seemed as though, with Lois, history was repeating itself. The reasons were different, and yet the elephant in the room was still the same color.

As Clark and Lana ate dinner at his newly acquired apartment, moved into only three days ago, he allowed himself to be swept into the past. What had seemed so complicated a relationship before now seemed effortless. He didn't believe picking up with Lana was the best cure for his sadness at losing Lois, but at least her company got his mind off her for a while. But the way Lana tilted her head back when she laughed, looked up at him with her large brown eyes, he knew she was searching in him for a sign that he still cared for her. As the hour grew late, it was time to part.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" Clark asked.

"No, I was just going to take a cab to the nearest hotel."

Clark would have escorted her to a hotel, but the truth was his head was pounding. His super hearing was absorbing so many sounds at once and he couldn't separate them. "Why don't y-you stay with me tonight."

"I'd love that Clark."

He changed the sheets and gave Lana his bedroom for the night, while he prepared the couch. He thought about doing a flyby of the city but decided against it. He just couldn't stay focused.

As he drifted off to sleep, he allowed himself to pretend that the last few years hadn't happened. He hadn't abandoned Lois and gone to Krypton, he never made the journey to Metropolis, and goofy Kent didn't yet exist. He was back in time to Smallville, where there was only one of him, no Kal-El, no Superman; just a farm boy with a caring mother and father who loved him for who he was.

* * *

The morning sun's rays peered through the window blinds. Clark heard the shower running and awoke. He looked over at the clock. _9:30 a.m.! _He never overslept.

"It's all yours, Clark!" Lana called from the bedroom. He stepped into the shower and felt the rush of hot water smack against his skin. _He had the sense he was supposed to do something important this morning, if only he could remember what it was_.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Lana, who was getting dressed in the bedroom, twisted a towel around her wet hair and answered the door.

"Hello, can I help you?" Lana said to the woman standing in front of her. She quickly crushed a smirk forming on her face.

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was Clark Kent's apartment." Lois responded, looking at a piece of paper in her hand.

"Oh it is! He's in the shower. Who can I tell him stopped by?" Lana chimed. At that moment Clark, wearing only a towel around his waist, stepped out into the hallway.

"Did I hear a knock at the door?" Clark looked at Lois. Then at Lana. Then back at Lois. The look between them could light the room afire. Lois noted how chiseled his chest was, and how his wet hair sleeked back across his forehead. _God, he's sexy._

Lana, quietly soaking up the tension, excused herself to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Lois, I, uh…" Clark stammered.

"What the hell, Clark? You don't show up for work, knowing that we need to get over to the lab this morning. And I find you here with this, this slut. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I, uh…"

"I swear Clark you are going to pull your own weight on this case or I will have Perry skin your hide and boot it all the way back to Smallville or whatever the hell the name of that hick town is that you're from. If you're not downstairs in ten minutes I'm leaving without you." She threw open the door and it slammed against its hinges, making a sickly cracking noise. He listened to her high heels stomp down the hallway. _And into the elevator, out the front door and onto the sidewalk_. Sometimes he just hated super hearing.

Lana appeared behind Clark. "I have clearly walked into something," she began. "I'm sorry, Clark."

"Don't be. I'm not." They gave each other a hug, and made plans to meet in the evening. While Clark got dressed in the bathroom, Lana reached underneath the couch cushion and held a glowing red rock in the palm of her hand. She smiled inwardly.

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. The Trouble with Superheros

**Chapter 5: The Trouble with Superheroes**

Eight minutes later, Clark was fully dressed and down the stairs. But there was no sign of Lois Lane. _She probably didn't even wait two minutes, he thought_. He ducked into an alley and shot into the air, destination, Daily Planet. _Or was he supposed to meet her at the lab?_ In any case, he was diverted by cries for help before he had the chance to remember.

* * *

Back at the Daily Planet, all eyes were on the large, flat screen TVs that were showing images of a massive fire uptown that had started in the early morning hours. Several apartment buildings had been completely destroyed, and three more were engulfed in flames. The question on everyone's lips, _where was Superman_?

At the fire locale, TV cameras were positioned to capture Superman's descent onto the scene, just as firefighters were pulling a badly burned young woman from a building. He landed on one of the few balconies still free of flames, and to all the onlookers' shock, just stood there. Firefighters began yelling at him, asking for help. He looked up at the conflagration, contemplating. He stifled a yawn, and then slowly blew onto the fire. The flames danced, and the crowd started clapping, until they saw them shoot even higher in the air. A TV camera moved in for a close-up and caught a mischievous grin on his face.

Meanwhile, Lois was driving towards the lab. She was hoping that she would find some clue that would help move the case forward. It being a staff in-service day at Jason's school, her son was in tow in the backseat. She tapped her fingernails on the steering wheel, deeply troubled. The radio was tuned to the news and she was listening to reports coming in from all over town.

_Superman caught a man falling out of a ten-story building, only to drop him to the ground while still hovering five feet in the air. The scene of a bank robbery caught him helping the robbers secure an escape route, destroying a police car in the process. Then, a commercial airliner en route to Metropolis Airport had engine trouble. Superman was reported to have flown up to the troubled plane, grabbed a hold of the nose of the aircraft, and waved to the pilots through the cockpit window. He then flew away, doing nothing to help the distressed plane or its passengers. _

The news went on and on. Lois couldn't believe it. She missed the turn into the parking lot and had to circle the block. Somewhere in the recesses of her brain she heard Jason talking.

"Why didn't Superman help those people?" He asked.

It broke her heart to hear the sadness in his voice. "I don't know, Jason."

"He didn't visit me last night. He always comes. Why didn't he come?"

"I don't know, honey. You know he's very busy." Lois was worried. She'd never seen him out of control. She was always amazed how cool and calm he was under any circumstance. Now she realized that it must be a deliberate act on his part, he couldn't afford to lose control.

Lois parked the car, took Jason's hand and walked into the laboratory. The building was in the older part of town. Pale green paint was peeling off the walls and the air smelled musty. While in the waiting room, she tried to avoid watching the television, which was highlighting all of Superman's bizarre morning escapades.

"Lois Lane? Hi, I'm Dr. Stein." The doctor was a short man in his mid-fifties. He wore wireless frames which sat precariously atop his nose and accentuated the thick lenses of his glasses.

"Nice to meet you."

"Isn't that something, huh?" He said, pointing towards the screen. "Thanks for coming so quickly."

"What can you tell me?"

"It's not a gem. At first I thought that it was just some old rock. There were a few properties that I'd never seen before, but that's not unusual in a meteor rock. But then, I got my hands on this." The doctor pulled out a familiar piece of green rock. Lois immediately pulled Jason behind her.

"I had an instinct that you would know what this is." Dr. Stein remarked. "Ever since Superman lifted that island into space, pieces of this stuff have been crashing to Earth. A ten-year-old boy on a playground picked up this one about a mile from here. Then, on a whim, I ran an analysis to compare the two pieces."

"What are you saying, doctor?"

"This here, for lack of a better word, is a red form of kryptonite. There were substances in both rocks that I couldn't identify. It's possible that the effects on Superman could be different. Did you hear of him conduct any activity in the vicinity of the jewelry store in the last 24 hours? I think he must have been exposed to it somehow. If the green kryptonite kills him…"

"Then maybe the red …" her eyes drifted over to the TV screen, her mouth opening in horror. "I've got to go." She ran out the door, swooping Jason into her arms.

Outside, Lois yelled, "Get in the car!"

"Mommy?" His arms hurt because she was pulling him so hard.

"Get in the car now! Mommy's going to drop you off with Daddy, okay?"

"But you said I could stay with you today," Jason pleaded.

"I'm sorry sweetie but something's come up." She phoned Richard and asked him to meet her at one of their favorite restaurants, a small, intimate Italian place by the river. She and Richard had spent many evenings there, and it was where he had proposed.

As she looked at the place now, it was as though the memories made there involved a different woman. They stood out on the balcony, and as she spoke with Richard he almost seemed to vanish into the background. She pleaded for ten minutes before she convinced him of her plan to help Superman. She also insisted that he take Jason to a friend's house. She wanted her son safe and away from any place Superman might look should he want to find him.

After Richard departed, Lois drove back to the jewelry store where she and Clark had first encountered the meteor rocks only 24 hours ago. _Maybe the storeowner could remember something pertinent._

But as she approached the store, she noticed a vaguely familiar figure departing. She pulled up onto the curve, screeching the tires and leaving tracks several feet behind her. The undercarriage of the car made a very loud thud as it collided with the curb. She jumped up out of the car and approached the woman as onlookers glanced at her with passing curiosity.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" Lois demanded.

Lana laughed. "I only gave him what he deserved."

"What did he ever do to you?"

"What did he ever do to me? Oh I guess he never told you, did he. He killed my parents. And all the while I was searching for the truth, her pursued me, made me love him."

"You're insane. He would never kill anyone."

"But he lets people die, just like he's doing right now."

"Where'd you get the red kryptonite?"

"I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd figure it out so quickly. But then you are Metropolis' star reporter. I am simply a scientist conducting an experiment on a lab rat. He hurt me and now I hurt him. It's really quite simple." She stared hard at Lois, baiting her. "By the way, isn't he a great lover? The way he moves, ah! Talk about stamina!"

Lois punched the woman in the face, the impact knocking Lana onto her knees.

She grabbed the side of her face, her hair tousled. "You little bitch!" A purple and blue bruise imploded on Lana's cheek. "Did he ever tell you that we were engaged to be married? We were going to tie the knot right after college. But he didn't trust me you see. With his secret."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lois. It's just us girls here. If I had never met you and suddenly we passed each other walking down the street I would know that the pain in your face was caused by Clark Kent. I know, because I used to see it in my reflection every day."

Lana picked herself up off the ground and continued. "One day, out of the blue, he told me what he was. He told me how he arrived here. It didn't take me long to put two and two together. I knew he had to be involved in my parents' death. I confronted him about it. You know what he said? He said it was an accident!"

"You blame him for something that happened when he was five years old?" Lois couldn't believe it.

"It's not just that! The moment that I learn what I spent my whole life seeking to know, he steals it from me. I woke up one morning with a hole in my head. I couldn't remember the last few weeks of my life. But soon I started remembering things, having flashes. Then when I saw your article in the Daily Planet about this _super man_, saw this _thing_ in a big red cape, everything snapped back into place."

Lois stood listening to the woman's tirade, painfully aware that time was not on her side. She needed to find out a way to save Superman, and this woman was the only one who knew how. But something in her words bothered her. Then it dawned on her. "You couldn't handle it, him being different. That's why he erased your memory." She said it a low, controlled voice. What hurt the most, however, was the growing realization that the same words could be said of her.

Then, more confidently, "You know what you are, Lana? A coward! This man shares the biggest secret on the planet with you and you run like a little child. You try to hurt him. I can assure you that you won't get away with this!" The image of tire tracks pressed upon Lana's body flashed through her mind.

Purging the thought, Lois left the young woman standing on the street and raced back towards the laboratory to pick up the only object she knew could stop him. As she pulled away from the store she watched Lana in the rearview mirror. She had to take her mind off that woman, and think about how she was going to catch Superman's attention.

* * *

Back at the Daily Planet, she took the stairs up two at a time, avoiding the elevator and any curious co-workers. When she got to the roof, she walked to the edge and sat down, straddling the railing, allowing one leg to dangle freely. Flashes of their intimate moments in that very spot overwhelmed her senses, and she tried hard not to cry. She couldn't lose him now, not after everything's that happened.

It had been difficult for her, after Superman left. But the complications of her non-human pregnancy were made worse by the fact that she knew he had intentionally made her forget their last few days together. Specifically, the time after she discovered who Clark Kent really was.

She had been so vicious to Clark since his return to the Daily Planet. It had been easier to forgive him as Superman than as Clark. Superman was a god that no mortal could snare, but Clark the man was just a man. _Her friend_. And now that she knew he had once been engaged to Lana, knew that he once contemplated spending his life with someone, her anger at him jumped tenfold. _Why couldn't they be together?_

Lois took a deep breath, knowing it was now or never. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "Help! Superman!"

She hoped, despite his drunken state, that he would be aware enough to hear her, to still care for her. She screamed again.

A few seconds later, she heard an ungraceful _thump_ behind her. Without looking around, she knew it was him.

"What are you doing?" he said.

She approached him slowly, choosing her words carefully. She wouldn't get a second chance. "You're not well."

"I don't get sick," Superman slurred.

"You need help."

"I'd like your help," he replied, stumbling over his feet. "I think you can make me feel much better."

As he stretched out his hand to touch her cheek, Lois reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of green kryptonite.

"That's not very nice." He grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly towards him. She held on steadfastly to the kryptonite, knowing that it was her only defense against him. She pushed him away easily, the cumulative effects of both rocks rendering him virtually defenseless. She quickly removed her shoe and swung the heel into his head. He slumped to the ground, out cold.

Lois collapsed near his immobile figure, her heart pounding and face wet with tears. She immediately dialed Richard's number.

A few minutes later the elevator door opened and Richard came running out. "Dear god! Lois, what happened?"

"Help me get him in the elevator."

"What?"

"Please."

They managed to drag his dead weight into the elevator. Richard stood next to the button console, his figure curled up against the close button, just in case the elevator stopped en route to the parking garage.

Down in the garage, Lois waited in the elevator while Richard pulled the car around. They pulled Superman into the back seat and sped out onto the highway.

"Did you do what I asked?" Lois asked.

Richard nodded. "But where are we going?" Not answering, she looked onto the back seat, where a blanket lay over Superman's unconscious body, leaving only the tips of his red boots exposed.

They drove for twenty minutes as rain began to fall, the _thwap thwap_ of the windshield wipers the only noise puncturing the silence. Soon they arrived at a private airstrip. Richard pulled up to the plane he had earlier in the evening rented, at Lois' request. It was much larger than his own seaplane, and capable of traveling a much greater distance.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going or do I have to guess?"

"Kansas."

"You've got to be kidding! What the hell's in Kansas?"

"The truth." She replied quietly, cupping Superman's head in her hands.

For the second time in recent weeks, Richard looked down at the unconscious superhero. It was then that he admitted to himself what his subconscious knew all along; that despite all the rationalizations he made, all the assurances she gave, there was no way Lois Lane would ever marry him.

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Connections

**Chapter 6: Connections**

The flight to Smallville Airport was taken in near silence. Lois sat on the edge of her seat beside Superman, whose unconscious body was sprawled across two seats. Richard was up front. They had been avoiding each other for most of the trip. Richard was desperately trying not to lose it. His family was disintegrating before him and he could do nothing about it. Finally he could take the tension no longer. He put the plane on autopilot and walked to the rear of the plane.

"How's he doing?" Richard asked, concernedly.

"He's still unconscious." Though she'd spoken only three words, he felt the undertow of their meaning tear through his heart.

"What do you hope to find in Smallville?"

"Lois?"

"I'm sorry, Richard. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Just tell me one thing, did you ever have any intention of marrying me?"

She didn't know how to answer his question without hurting him. "Richard, please."

"I have a right to know, Lois. We've been dancing around this subject for weeks. Tell me. Was I just a guy in waiting until the man you loved came to his senses?"

"I love you, Richard. Please believe that. I never meant to hurt you. This…" she gestured towards Superman, "is so complicated."

"I'm not coming with you, Lois. When we land, I'm going to help you take him wherever it is you're going, but then I'm heading back to Metropolis."

Then, he choked, "What happens to Jason?"

The question was left hanging in the air, too painful to put the answer into words. She couldn't broach this subject with him, not yet.

Neither spoke to the other for the remainder of the flight. The tension in the air was suffocating, tempered only by the colorful sunset they witnessed on the approach to Smallville Airport. The pink and orange rays scattered across the sky, framing the setting sun. The ground below, what little could be seen, was a landscape dotted with farmland and trees, with a few clusters of small towns interspersed in between.

The airport was nearly dark, with a lone stretch of lights outlining the small runway. One tiny building was the only structure on the ground, which must have served as a terminal. The plane touched down smoothly, and Lois quietly wished all things in her life could be so serene and simple. In the distance, a pair of headlights shown brightly from an old pickup, and Lois could make out the shadow of a figure standing beside it.

Richard opened the cockpit door for her as the pickup pulled up beside them.

The woman quickly approached them. Lois was struck by her fragile appearance.

"Lois Lane?" Lois nodded and helped her up the steps. She immediately broke into tears upon seeing her son passed out on the seat.

"Oh, my boy!" She kissed his forehead.

Behind her, Richard and Lois looked on. "How long has he been like this?"

"Since this afternoon. He spoke briefly a couple hours ago." Lois said, "Mrs. Kent?"

"Martha, please. Come here." The older woman wrapped her arms around Lois. Being in her arms, Lois was overwhelmed by the compassion this woman emanated. She'd been uncertain how Clark's mother would react to her, and she wasn't disappointed. Five years ago, after discovering she was pregnant, she thought about seeking her out, to ask her one simple question, why? But she didn't, and she found Richard, and in him all the help she needed.

"Martha, this is, uh, Richard." He was shocked when Martha pulled him into an embrace and whispered, _thank you_.

Richard helped move Superman into the truck. As they parted, Lois gave him a chaste kiss and he watched as the truck pulled away, waiting until it disappeared into the horizon. Then he started up the plane and flew away.

* * *

Riding along in Martha's truck, Lois remarked how quietly reassuring it was to be in Martha's presence. Underneath her delicate appearance there was a quiet, steely resolve about her that reminded her of Clark. Her immortal son was unconscious in her backseat, but still she managed to keep her focus. Lois wondered what other trials she had been put through over the years.

Martha glanced in the rearview mirror to check up on her son, who was floating in and out of consciousness, mumbling incoherently.

"Do you think he'll be all right?" Lois asked shyly.

Martha looked at Lois and smiled. "Clark can handle anything. He'll pull through." Lois looked out the window as they drove on, noting how little different the landscape looked from the air.

Meanwhile, Clark wasn't sure where he was. He could hear his mother and Lois talking about him, but that wasn't possible, was it? His cluttered mind wandered over conversations they had in the last couple of weeks. The cruel words, avoided questions, her not wanting to discuss their "relationship." Could Lois have remembered? He blacked out.

* * *

Lois awoke late in the night, her neck sore. She'd been decked out on a large sofa chair in Clark's bedroom where she'd fallen asleep. Her body was feeling the strain of helping the half-awake man into the house. She thought about how on so few occasions she had actually seen him asleep. During their relationship, Lois would usually wake up alone after a night with him. She knew it was one of the prices she had to pay to be with him.

A soft knock at the door startled Lois out of her reverie. Martha came in holding a tray with a single teacup and bag.

"Thank you." Lois said softly.

"Is there any change?" Lois shook her head. Martha placed a hand on her shoulder. As much as she wanted to keep vigil over her son herself, she knew he was in good hands.

As Lois' eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed stars on the ceiling. The constellation brought a slight glow to the room, and she could just make out Clark's sleeping form. At the center of the ceiling she noticed a larger star, one with a deep red hue. _The red sun of Krypton_. She wondered how many nights he had stared up at the ceiling like this, wondering, hoping.

Tomorrow, everything was going to be different.

* * *

Clark awoke to the sweet aroma of bacon. As he opened his eyes, it took him a moment to realize where he was. He had a massive headache. The last 24 hours came rushing back to him, the awful things he did, the people who needed his help but he didn't save. The guilt was too much. He could only hope that the world would forgive him for his temporary insanity.

Then he remembered Lana. She had done this to him. He almost couldn't believe it. As a teenager, he'd been love struck by her. It wasn't until he moved to Metropolis and met Lois that he realized he'd mistaken infatuation for love.

But Lana's possession of kryptonite meant that she knew who he was, and that the mind wipe didn't work. He had done it to her because he realized, almost too late, that he would never be able to trust her with his secret. Then, his eyes opened wide with horror. If it didn't last on Lana, it probably didn't last on Lois. How much did she remember? And how long had she remembered? One thing was clear, his mother and Lois were in the kitchen talking, right now. He feared that the nightmare that been yesterday was just a preview of things to come.

All conversation immediately ceased the moment Clark entered the kitchen. His mother was cooking bacon and eggs; Lois was sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee. If not for the circumstances for which it was brought about, this moment would have been one he'd never want to forget.

"Oh, Clark!" His mother rushed to him, drawing him into a tight embrace. It felt so good to be in her arms. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." She cupped his face in her hands, exploring for any sign he wasn't fully recovered.

"Really, I'm fine." He smiled warmly and took her hands in his.

"I cooked some breakfast. Perhaps the two of you would like to share."

He looked over at Lois, who avoided his gaze. His mother gave him a pleading look. If Clark expected help from his mother in this situation, he was gravely mistaken.

"Well, I'd better get moving. Ben is coming over in an hour. We're going to the Corn Festival. Perhaps we'll see the two of you over there later today?"

Clark looked over at Lois, painfully aware that his glasses were back in Metropolis. Lois stood up from the table and walked towards him.

"Here we are," she said quietly.

He couldn't believe that she was standing there, in front of him, in his own home. He looked at his feet as he softly replied, "Yeah."

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. Talk is Expensive

**Chapter 7: Talk is Expensive**

Despite the fact that there was so much to be said, neither knew where to begin.

"Lois, I…"

"Why'd you do it? Why did you erase my memory?"

He sighed, closing his eyes. "How much do you remember?"

"Niagara Falls. You and me at the Fortress of Solitude."

"You remember everything," he said sadly.

"I never forgot!"

Her words stung deeply. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what? Making me forget or the fact that I remember?"

"You must realize that I did it for your protection. If someone found out that you knew about me…"

"It's a little late for that now, isn't it? Besides, this isn't just about you and me anymore. How did you think you were going to manage all this with Jason?"

"I… I don't know."

"You don't know much of anything, do you!" She grabbed the frying pan off the stove and tossed the contents onto two plates. "Sit down!"

He did as she asked. They ate in silence while Lois' fork screeched upon each contact with the plate. When she finished, she threw her fork down, her hand catching the edge of plate. It slid off the table and shattered onto the floor.

Lois reeled in her emotions, not wanting to continue until she did so. "I need some air."

"Lois…"

"Don't!"

There was a knock-knock at the door followed by a key turning in the slot.

"Good morning, Clark!" It was Ben Hubbard. Clark wanted to ask him why he had a key but thought better of it. They shook hands, just as Lois nearly toppled Ben as she sprinted out the door.

"Say, was that young lady Lois Lane? Your mother has told me all about her."

As exercising physical restraint came so naturally to him, he simply called, "mother!"

* * *

Lois had never been to a Corn Festival, but she had to admit, it was different. The laughter of the children made her long to see Jason, but she knew she needed more time before she brought him into this. Martha and Ben had graciously allowed her to join them at the festival, and she was grateful that neither one of them made any mention of Clark.

Having estranged parents, Lois felt a kind of peace with the older couple. They were unassuming and kind, and she found, despite herself, that she was enjoying the afternoon. She watched a young couple sitting underneath a large tree, the man was pulling grass from the woman's hair. Their radio, perched on a corner of their blanket, was showcasing the day's headlines, and she caught herself listening to an in-progress account of Superman saving passengers on a runaway train halfway around the world. Earlier this morning, he had uncharacteristically spoken to a reporter at the Daily Planet (uncharacteristic of course simply for the fact that it wasn't Lois Lane he spoke to) and apologized for his behavior yesterday. He was gravely sorry but refused to provide any details.

Her mind drifted to Richard. She knew she had to end it. Even if it didn't work out with Clark, things were now too broken with Richard to be fixed. What could a selfless man like Clark ever see in her? Richard was indeed a placeholder for Superman. The fact that he knew that now broke her heart. He deserved better than second best. Her decision was going to hurt Jason deeply, but it had to be done. She could no longer live a lie.

* * *

Back at the Kent farm, Clark returned from the train wreck and got to work. His mother posted a list of chores on the refrigerator for him to do whenever he passed through town. He set about fixing a hole in the barn, hovering overhead, feeling the freedom the country gave him to be himself. Next he started on the fence. Several of the posts had fallen into disrepair and he set about fixing them. He worked slowly, at human speed. Work took his mind off his troubles, especially the one by the name of Lois Lane.

He heard in the distance a car coming up the long, dirt driveway. He watched it curiously as it ditched a pothole, another item on his to-do list.

"Mr. Clark!" Jason said, jumping out of the car. The boy ran up to Clark and jumped into his arms. Shocked at his sudden appearance, he drew his son into an embrace, relishing a moment that so rarely came.

Richard stepped out of the vehicle, his eyes keeping steady on Clark. He looked him over with a cold stare, his brain reconnecting conclusions he had made before but dismissed.

"Jason, why don't you go play inside the house for a few minutes." Richard said as Jason ran away.

"You know it's amazing what a pair of glasses can do. It's so obvious now. I feel like an idiot."

"Richard, you have to believe me when I say I have no intention of pursuing Lois while you and her…"

"Oh no. Of course not. That wouldn't be very _supermanly_ of you."

He continued bitterly. "Would you believe the thought actually occurred to me that you might be him? What fools you must take us all for."

"It's a disguise. You're not supposed to recognize me."

"Fuck you!"

"What are you doing here, Richard?"

"That's none of your business."

"This is my home."

"Your home? Is that what earth is now to you?" He reeled in his emotions, putting himself back on track as to his purpose for being in Smallville. "I need to see Lois."

"She's not here right now."

"Where can I find her?"

"I don't know," he said sheepishly. "She might have gone to the Corn Festival with my mother."

_Corn Festival?_ _Just in case he needed to be reminded that he wasn't in Metropolis anymore…_

"You can wait inside for her, if you'd like. Make yourself at home."

Richard followed his advice. The house was modest compared to his standards, and held up to his stereotype of what life in rural Kansas must be like. _How depressingly predictable to find out Superman grew up in a place like this._ He had given Lois a beautiful home and a picture perfect life. He'd been there for her, loved her unconditionally, temper and all. Now, all that he'd worked for didn't mean a damn.

* * *

Inside the Kent home, Jason was sitting in front of the television. Richard, having looked in the refrigerator for a beer and found none, helped himself to a glass of ice water. He sat on the couch with Jason, his eyes fixated outside the window. Clark was working on repairing the fence, his movements slow and deliberate.

Richard felt his anger slowly dissipate. He stepped outside and slowly walked up to Clark. He stood there watching him a minute. "Why don't you just fix it, you know, at super speed?" Richard asked, his glass of ice water placed up to his brow. For an instant he wished he had a little Kryptonian blood in him. Clark tossed a piece of rotten wood onto the ground, ignoring his question.

"You should know, Clark, that it's over between Lois and I. That's why I'm here. I need tell her face to face, I couldn't do it over the phone."

Clark stopped working, still holding a piece of wood still in his hands. Richard's eyes began to tear up. "I want to beat the crap out of you, broken bones be damned. But I can't stay hating you. You saved my life, save others every single day. And you're Jason's father. Clark, you don't know what it was like after you left. It was several years before she opened up to me. Her heart was shattered. She felt abandoned. I helped her through that."

"I'm very grateful that she had you during that time."

"She loves you. I thought she would learn to love me that way. But I was fool with her too."

"You were there for her, and Jason. There's no way I can ever explain how important it is to me that she had you in her life."

"Jason needs you too."

"You'll always be a father to him."

Richard heard the words, knew they were from a sincere place, but felt their hollowness all the same. "Don't ever hurt her again. Promise me!"

"I promise."

Clearing his throat, he asked, "Do you need help?" Without waiting for an answer, Richard began kicking up a piece of rotten wood. He rustled it out of the ground and threw it into the pile.

* * *

As Martha, Ben and Lois returned to the farm, they stared aghast in the distance at the two men working side by side. They pulled up to the house and Jason came running down the steps.

"Mommy!" Lois picked him up in her arms.

"It's so good to see you too, sweetie."

"Um, there's someone I'd like you to meet. This is Clark's mom."

"Hello," came Jason's shy greeting.

Martha's face glowed. Her grandson. She wasn't sure if she would ever be given the chance to know him. She dropped to her knees and hugged him. Jason's lips formed the words _help me _as he silently pleaded with his mother to help him free from her tight grasp.

Martha grabbed his hand as they walked into the house. Clark followed them inside, sensing the conversation that was about to begin.

Richard and Lois stood before each other, knowing that this was the final time they'd ever face each other like this again. "I just came to drop off Jason, and to say goodbye.

"You will always be in my heart, Lois. But it's time I faced reality. You don't need me anymore. Clark is a good man. I hope you and Jason find the happiness with him that you both gave me."

His words were selfless, which made Lois feel all the guiltier. They embraced, and all the emotions held deep inside threatened to surface. But both held back.

"I've already spoken to Jason. If he ever needs me, if you ever do, just call me. Goodbye Lois."

"I love you, Richard. I always will. I'm sorry I hurt you."

The somber parting ended a relationship that began with fiery emotions. The man, who had stood by her for years, never questioning or doubting her, had just walked out of her life. It left a gaping hole in her heart.

Thinking now about what stood before her, she said goodbye to the life she lived for the last five years. What most women would dream of, she had just thrown away. The infinitely more complicated life with Clark Kent stood before her, and she smiled as she readied herself for the challenge.

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. What it's Always Been About

**Chapter 8: What it's Always Been About**

Lois, Clark, Jason and Martha sat around the dinner table, where Martha and Jason were doing most of the talking. The grandmother and grandson fell into an easy rhythm, and Jason was excitedly talking about acing a test.

"I'm really good at science, but not so much at sports."

"I'm sure you'll get better at them when you grow older." Martha responded to the little boy.

Lois stole an occasional glance at Clark, who not once looked at her during the meal. Instead, his eyes were fixated on his son, and she caught a sad mix of admiration and longing on his face.

When it was time for bed, Jason and Lois took Clark's bedroom, and Clark was relegated to the living room. Fortunately he didn't need sleep as there was no way his 6'4" frame would fit the confines of the couch. He changed and flew off into the night.

* * *

Lois was awakened by a rustling noise outside. Reaching over towards Jason she found an empty space. She sat up. "Jason?" She called lightly, not wanting to wake Martha up. "Jason, where are you, honey?" She looked down at the floor and noticed his shoes were gone. Through the window she could just make out the faint outline of a tiny figure in the distance. She threw on her shoes, grabbed a light sweater and ran outside.

"Jason, honey, what are you doing? It's late, you should get back to bed."

"I can't sleep."

"You had long day, you need your rest." She noticed how her son's eyes seemed fixated on a structure adjacent to the house. "What is it, sweetheart?"

Jason pointed towards the barn. "Is there something in there?" Jason nodded.

Lois' curiosity overcame her caution and desire for sleep. She grabbed his hand and together they walked towards the barn. Opening the door, Lois felt around for a light switch but could find none.

"Over there." Jason pointed, but Lois couldn't see at what. She let him guide her to a far corner of the room. She caught the faint smell of cut grass and tripped over a hard, metallic object but steadied herself. Jason crouched down on the ground and a loud _clang_ echoed through the barn. Then, a soft green glow filled the space before them. It took her a moment to realize just exactly what was causing it.

A crystal. A green crystal.

Jason reached down to pick it up, but Lois tried to pull his hand away.

He was too quick. Seeing the crystal in Jason's hand brought back a flood of memories. They were from happier times that she wished she could somehow recreate.

"Jason, that's not yours. Please put it back." Jason protested. In the darkness she could not see him hiding it underneath his shirt.

Lois grabbed his hand and started off back to the house, just in time to see Clark swoop down from the sky and land near the door.

"Superman?" Jason called.

Clark's eyes were fixated on the object in the boy's hand, his cape billowing in the wind. "Jason, how did you find that?"

He was clutching the crystal to his chest, the green light illuminating his face. He looked nervously over at his mom, whose disappointment he read plainly across her face.

"I don't know. I just knew it was there."

Clark's mouth hung wide open in surprise. "What?"

Lois listened to the exchange amused. It was rare treat to see Clark dumbfounded without pretending to be so.

Clark got down onto his knees, his eyes glowing with pride.

"Can I have it?" Jason asked, holding up the crystal.

Clark felt like a criminal for refusing the boy's request. "That," he pointed to the crystal, "is something very special to me. My father gave it to me. And when you're older, I'll show you what it's for. But right now I need to hold onto it. How does that sound?"

"Okay I guess."

Clark sought strength for his next question in Lois' eyes. "Jason, do you know who I am?"

"Uh huh, you're Superman. And Clark Kent." He added smartly.

Clark laughed nervously. Lois pressed a hand to her mouth, stifling her own laugh. Clark continued, "You're a smart boy. But what I need to tell you, what you're mom and I need to tell you, is that, well, I am also your father."

"I know," he said shyly. "Mommy told me. I don't have to call you daddy, do I?"

"No, you can call me Clark, if you'd like."

"Okay. 'Cause I already have a daddy." The words stung at his heart, but he knew they weren't meant to be cruel.

"I know." Sitting there before his son, knowing that his son knew who he was, overwhelmed him. "Do you think maybe I can get a hug?"

Jason's tiny arms wrapped around Clark, and the tears came streaming down his face. Jason handed the crystal back to his father.

"Does this mean I'm gonna be able to fly?"

Clark laughed, "I don't know."

"Jason, you need to get back to bed," Lois interjected.

"But I want to stay out here with you and Clark!"

"Now, Jason." She called gently.

"Okay," Jason replied dejectedly. The couple watched their son walk back into the house.

Lois reached out to touch the crystal in Clark's hand, caressing its smooth edges with her finger. "I remember when you showed that to me," she reminisced. "Why can't we be happy like that again? You know, I can't stay angry at you, no matter how hard I try."

"Lois, I'm sorry. I wish we could go back to the way things were before."

"Do you? Because I don't."

Her words startled him. "What?"

"If we are going to have a relationship, Clark, it's going to be on equal terms. Before, you had the upper hand. That stops right now."

He conceded, knowing she spoke the truth. "What do you propose?"

"You need to trust me to make my own choices. That when I say I choose to spend my life with you I do so freely with my eyes open. I'm not naïve, Clark. When you tried to make me forget, you tried to write my future for me. You need to trust me enough to believe that this is the life I want. Will you promise me that?"

He hesitated slightly. "I promise."

"Because the truth," her voice began to crack, "is that I love you. I always have. I've seen what my life could be like without you in it, lived it for five years. Don't condemn me to that fate."

He smiled, "I love you too."

Lois bit her lip, preparing herself for her next question. "I need to ask you something. Who was Lana Lang?"

He was jarred by the sound of her name and he slumped his shoulders, falling into a familiar Clark posture. "She was, uh, a young woman I cared very deeply for."

"She told me the two of you were once engaged. Is that true?"

Clark could see where this was going and sighed. "Yes. I thought I loved her."

"You wouldn't have considered marrying her if you weren't sure."

"I loved her." She knew him too well.

"So tell me, Clark," her voice filling with emotion again. "How could you see a future with her but not with me?"

"I knew Lana before I knew even who I was. What I was. I never told her about me, any of it."

"But she found out anyway."

"She did. But she was different then. She was warm, kind. But she changed in college. The more I got to know her, the more I knew I couldn't trust her."

"How did she find out about the red kryptonite?"

"I don't know. But she's a scientist. An astrophysicist."

"You don't hate her for what she did to you, do you?" It was not a question.

"I can't hate her Lois. In a way I feel responsible."

"How so?"

"The meteorites that killed her parents. They were caused by my arrival here."

"You had no control over that!"

"It doesn't change the way I feel."

Sometimes, Lois thought, his selflessness was really damn annoying.

"You know," Lois began, looking towards the house. "Jason will come around. He just needs time."

"I hope your right."

"Kids are resilient. They are full of surprises." With that Lois grabbed the front of his suit and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. She led him into the barn, and in doing so tripped over the same metallic object that nearly claimed her before. Suddenly, there was a soft click and the room was illuminated. A single string dangled from a bare light fixture high up against the wall.

"You, uh, just need to know where to find it," Clark said shyly.

Lois looked down at her feet, seeing the tip of a lawnmower protruding out from the wall. She collapsed on top of a bale of hay, and pulled him up towards her. They lay with their arms wrapped around each other.

"See, on the ceiling? How the wood is a slightly different color? Once, when I was about 15," Clark began, "I came crashing through the ceiling."

Lois laughed. "How did you manage that?"

"I wasn't always so good at control."

Lois laughed hysterically, enjoying the warmth of the man next to her. She listened intently to his childhood accounts. He was careful to avoid any mention of Superman. In turn, she talked about Jason, the difficult pregnancy, his health problems, but more than anything, the joy he had brought to her life. An hour quickly passed.

"You know, it's really late. We should get back inside." Lois stated reluctantly. She started to get up but Clark stopped her. He pulled her in for a light kiss. It quickly deepened, and he pulled her on top of him. To her recollection, this was the first time he had ever initiated intimate contact. She had always been the aggressor, the domineering woman who led the way. But as the kiss went deeper she was energized by his newfound assertiveness.

Clark cupped her face in his hands, pulling her in even closer. His kiss was soft and gentle but assured, and growing with more intensity. Lois reached behind his shoulders and pulled on the familiar clasps of his suit, peeling the top off his body. She slid her hands down his chest. He picked her up, wrapped her legs around his waist, and guided her gently down to the ground. His hands slid down the frame of her body, absorbing every curve, as if comparing the accuracy of his memories to the real woman.

All the times that they had made love, and all the nights afterwards that she had relived in her mind, never prepared her for this moment. For this time, she finally understood him. And, more importantly, she knew what she meant to him. Superman, the man of steel, she had to share with the world. But the farm boy, news reporter Clark Kent was hers alone.

TO BE CONTINUED


	9. You Can't Go Home Again

**Chapter 9: You Can't Go Home Again**

Lois awoke in the barn alone. Clark's button-down plaid shirt was draped over her shoulders, a solitary yellow daffodil lay resting near her head. She picked it up and smelled it, recalling last night's events.

Like a schoolgirl, she giggled. She clenched her fists together and pounded the hay, letting out a sultry, high-pitched laugh. It occurred to her that most women would be upset that the man they just spent the night with would be MIA in the morning. But she wasn't any woman, and he wasn't just any man. Throwing on the rest of her clothes, she twirled the flower in her hand and walked back to the house.

In the kitchen, Jason was helping Martha clean dishes in the sink. She caught sight of her reflection in the window and was pained to see how wrinkled her clothes had become. Strands of hay were protruding from her hair. Hell, she looked terrible.

"Good morning, mommy. Where were you last night? I waited up for you!" Jason asked as he pulled his fingers out of the soapy water. White bubbles dotted his hands.

"I, uh…"

"Can we go to the zoo today?" For once she was grateful for a 5-year-old's attention span.

Martha towel-dried a breakfast plate and placed it on the counter. "Here, Lois. Let me get you a bathrobe so that we can wash your clothes."

Turning towards her son she replied, "No, sweetie. We have to go home. Mommy has to go back to work."

"Surely you can't stay a little while longer." Martha asked, draping her spare robe over the chair.

"I really need to get back. My editor will be wondering what I've been up to."

"Mr. White, isn't it?"

"Yes. Martha, just how much does Clark tell you?"

"Just about everything, dear."

"I see," her mind reeling with the implications of her answer. She was going to have to have a conversation with Clark.

* * *

Clark returned a short time later. He landed just outside the kitchen window, quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt and stood watching Jason play in the rows of corn. He rested his arms against the fence, remarking at that moment how his son reminded him so much of himself.

"Good morning, Clark!" Jason yelled in the distance. Clark gave him a huge hello wave and laughed.

From behind, Lois wrapped her arms around his chest and pulled herself towards him, absorbing his body heat. She rested her cheek on his back.

"Good morning, Lois."

"Good morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"Amazing."

"It looks good on you," he said, playfully pulling on the sleeve of the plaid shirt she wore.

"I look horrendous. I need to take a shower," she said, her voice cracking as her mind wandered, considering the possibilities.

Her meaning wasn't lost on him. He pulled her around and planted a warm kiss on her mouth, caressing her shoulder with his thumb. Martha, still cleaning dishes in the sink, watched them through the kitchen window. Clark said, "Maybe later when we don't have an audience…"

Moments later, Martha walked through the front door, its hinges squealing as it swung shut. "If you two will excuse me, I need to run into town. I'll be back in a few minutes." Martha looked briefly at her son and then called out, "Jason! Come here, dear. I want you to come with me to the market."

As Jason happily climbed into the truck with Martha, Lois smiled and said, "What audience?" Clark picked her up in his arms and carried her inside.

* * *

Around noon, Lois, Clark and Jason said goodbye to Martha. As the two women hugged, Martha slipped a piece of paper into her hand. "Call me, for anything," she whispered.

Then, more loudly, "I want to see all of you again, and soon!"

Clark drew his mother into a warm embrace, then swooped his family up in his arms and flew off towards Metropolis. Jason could barely contain his excitement at once again being airborne. Lois listened intently to the two most important men in her life talk, and as they drew closer to Metropolis, she became completely silent.

They landed behind Lois' house.

"Thanks for the lift. I, uh, have to get ready for work. I'll see you there later?" Lois asked, her voice suddenly filled with trepidation.

"I'll be there. Goodbye Jason!"

"Goodbye Superman!" As he flew away, Clark was grateful for the boy's instincts on calling him Superman only when he was in costume. _He was a smart kid, he thought with pride_.

When he was gone, Lois looked out towards the water. How she had loved that view. She spent many nights watching boats traverse it, listening to the faint hum of distant foghorns. But most striking to her now was the vacant dock where Richard's plane was once stowed. It left a gaping hole in the landscape.

Upon entering the house, she stepped into an empty living room. Most of the furniture, being Richard's, was gone. A sleek Persian rug he'd given her as a gift was the only object in the room, aside from a phone that lay on the floor beside the door. She picked up the receiver, and as expected, no dial tone. As she walked from room to room, she felt the echoes of his presence. Conversations and emotions that were tied to certain rooms, missing objects, were as vacant as her home.

"Come on, honey." She picked Jason up and climbed the stairs, leading him to his room. Thankfully, it was untouched. Upon the bed she found a large photograph of Richard and Jason, and scrawled on the back in Richard's handwriting a short message and a phone number. She handed it to her son.

She left her son alone and went to her bedroom. In there only a king size bed remained. As she perused through her closet, the left side was crammed with heavy wooden hangers, all devoid of garments. As she was looking for what to wear to work, she heard voices and footsteps downstairs.

As she walked back down the steps, her high heels clanged through the air, the wooden floors carrying the echo throughout the house.

"As you can see the view out the back is world class," a woman's voice spoke, "and of course the house has its own private dock. The previous owner stored a seaplane here."

"Can I help you?" Lois asked the intruder, a woman dressed in a navy blue business suit and wearing pink, plastic framed glasses.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Madeline Murray." She shook Lois' hand. "I'm the realtor helping you sell your house. I spoke with your husband."

"My husband?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, that's right. He told me the two of you weren't married. My apologies." Her demeanor indicated she couldn't care less.

"He's selling the house?" Lois knew she shouldn't be surprised. It was technically Richard's, and he had the right to sell it if he chose.

"Yes, dear. Lois, isn't it? Richard told me all about you. Let me just fill you in on the plan. He said you're welcome to stay as long as you need. He won't close on the home until you've found a place of your own. Are you okay with that dear?"

"Uh, yeah." She sounded unconvinced even to her own ears.

"Good. We won't take up too much of your time, then," Madeline concluded. Then, as if she had suddenly become invisible, the woman shuffled the prospective buyers into the kitchen, explaining the virtues of granite countertops. She went back to her bedroom and changed into a business suit and blouse, and walked out to the garage.

There was no car.

She sighed, dialing the number for a taxi on her cell phone.

"Come on, Jason, we're going to be late!" She called out.

* * *

Holding Jason in her arms, Lois stepped out of the elevator into the busy bullpen of the Daily Planet. She walked confidently to her desk, relieved to be back at work. Even though she had been gone only a few days, a stack of files was piled neatly on the corner of her desk. She sat down and came face to face with a copy of her infamous article, with Superman's face plastered right in the middle of it. Sighing, she folded it up and placed it in the trash.

Looking to her left, she saw the cracked frame that held a picture of her, Richard and Jason from a happier time. She placed it facedown in the drawer, right next to her Pulitzer plaque, and allowed her fingers to glide over her name etched in the metal. She abruptly shut the drawer with brute force, causing her co-worker at an adjacent desk to mouth an obscenity in her direction. She reached for the top folder in the pile and began to peruse its contents when Perry called her into his office.

"Thanks, Chief, for giving me a few days off with such short notice," Lois said, pulling the office door closed behind her.

"How's Superman?" Perry asked, his hands on his hips.

"Sorry?"

"Lois…" He said, slightly annoyed.

"He's doing better. He's pretty upset about what happened."

"The lab called. Apparently they're calling that substance he was exposed to red kryptonite. Damn fascinating, isn't it? That a man so powerful can be taken out by a rock? Oh well, everyone has their weakness." He said it so nonchalantly that Lois was taken aback.

"How are you holding up?" Perry added.

"I'm doing okay. It's been a busy couple of days. It's going to take some getting used to all the changes." She glanced over at Richard's office, which was empty.

Catching her glance, Perry said, "He left for London yesterday."

"Did he say when he was coming back?"

"He's isn't."

"How's he doing?"

"Lois." His tone told her to stop, but her guilt wouldn't allow her to forget.

Just then there was a loud crash as something large and heavy hit the floor. A lone, high-pitched "Sorry!" called out. Lois smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Unbelievable, that kid!" Perry mumbled. Then, with more force, he threw open the door and yelled, "Kent! Get in here!"

"Uh, yes sir? Good morning, sir! Good morning, Lois!"

"Nice of you to join us," Perry said.

"Uh, sorry about being out the last couple of days. I came down with the flu. Was running a high fever and…"

"Whatever," Perry said, waving his hand in the air. "Now that both of you are back, I thought it would be a good idea to get you working as a team again. You have any problem with that Lois?" His statement ended with an inflection, but the tone was anything but a question. Lois shook her head.

"Good. There's a case that needs cracking and I want you two to put your heads together and see what you can come up with."

"Hold on a second, Chief. I'm not going to have to share a byline, am I?" Lois asked.

Clark rolled his eyes, some things never changed. He stole a glance at Lois, which made her momentarily self-conscious.

Ignoring Lois' protests, Perry continued talking, seemingly unaware of the dynamic floating between two of his best reporters. As they left his office, Lois said, "I really wish you'd stop doing that. It's not fair."

"What's not fair?"

"You looking at me like that."

"Looking at you how?"

"Like you're undressing me in your mind. It's bad enough when some lowlife on the street does it but Clark, those guys just imagine it. You can actually do so. So please stop it. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Gee, Lois, I would never invade your privacy like that. Besides," he added quietly, "it takes some of the fun out of the anticipation, you know?" He winked.

Lois rolled her eyes. "Oh, I don't doubt that you would never scan some poor unsuspecting woman off the street. I just don't want you to think that your rules 'fly out the window,' so to speak when it comes to me."

"You never have to worry about that, Lois. And frankly, I'm a little upset that you would think me capable of such behavior."

"I'm sorry, Clark."

"Apology accepted."

As she walked away he smirked; _sometimes, he just couldn't help himself_. This woman made him think and feel things that he never thought himself capable. What was a broken rule or two in the face of such emotion? He muttered under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear, "Have I ever told you how much I love _pink_?"

THE END


End file.
